10 Things a Southern Woman Does

If you’re a Southern girl like me (born in Georgia, raised in North Carolina, Florida, and Texas), there are certain habits, manners, and traits you pick up on or that are passed down to you with intention. While these guidelines exist, a Southern woman also knows that being true to herself is the most important thing she can do, and ignoring a rule is her right. These are a few things that I have found to be true of the Southern women I know and guidelines I try to always follow myself.

1. You Mind your P’s and Q’s: (A phrase which no one seems to know the meaning of). Manners are everything in the South. If you’re a Southern woman, you say “yes sir” and “yes ma’am”, you have perfect table manners at a sit down dinner (napkin in the lap, no elbows on the table, one hand in your lap when you’re not using it to eat, no slouching, napkin in your chair when you leave the table but are coming back, napkin to the left of your plate when you’re leaving for good), you always say thank you when someone does something for you, you say please when you would like something, and you treat the servers at a restaurant with respect and kindness. Great manners are the best way to make a good first impression and a wonderful way to make everyone feel comfortable. If someone does something embarrassing (whether it be a spill or a joke that offends someone), a Southern woman knows that covering for them is the best thing she can do and never draws attention to the error.
2. You Send Thank You Notes: There are times when a thank you note is absolutely required (such as when you receive a wedding present) but if you’re a Southern woman, there are other times when a thank you note can be sent. Did someone send your family food or a gift after a hardship? Did someone throw you a lovely bridal shower? Did someone let you borrow their car when yours was in the shop? Did someone bring you flowers to the hospital when you were sick? These are all times when it’s definitely not required to send a note, the person who helped you loves you and wouldn’t want you to have a second thought about it, but it’s a nice way to show someone how grateful you are and that you are happy to have them in your life.
3. You Know How to be a Gracious Hostess: A Southern woman always makes people feel at home when they visit her. If you are having guests visit you, one way to make sure they’re comfortable is to stay in the guest room one night, that way, you can immediately see what they might need. Are the pillows too soft? Is there an extra phone charger in case they forgot theirs? Is there a spare blanket in case it gets cold? Are there clean towels in the guest bath? These are all good things to check. If you’re just having people over for dinner or a party, make sure you have enough settings for everyone, you’ve accounted for dietary restrictions, and there are non-alcoholic options available for drinks (you never ask someone why they aren’t drinking, and having the option readily available for someone to choose eliminates any embarrassment they might have in asking for it). Always treat others how you would want to be treated if you were their guest, it’s a small gesture that people really appreciate.
4. You’re a Football Fan: This is a given, but worth mentioning. You proudly sport your team colors, you brave the heat and tailgate, and you shotgun a beer if you feel so inclined.
5. You Never Chew Gum at a Public Event: It’s really not appropriate to chomp gum when you might be making new acquaintances. If you’re worried about fresh breath, use mints instead and save the gum for hanging out with your close friends.
6. You Were a Deb and Your Daughter Will be too: I wish I could go back and change the way I did my hair at my debutante ball, but it’s still one of the fondest memories I have from high school. I learned how to waltz, proper table etiquette, and how to mingle with people I’d never met. If I have a daughter, she most certainly will be a deb, and it will be a very proud moment in my life as a mother.
7. You Wait For an Invitation: Parties, weddings, and other social events require a lot of very careful planning on this host’s part, and you should never attend anything without an invitation. Invitations can range from a “hey we’re having a wine night, come over!” text from your friend, to a Facebook invite, to formal wedding invitation in the mail, but they should all be equally respected. If you’re not invited to a wedding, the bride’s family could be on a very tight budget and simply couldn’t afford to invite everyone they wanted to. If someone doesn’t invite you to a party, maybe your ex will be there and they are saving you from any awkwardness. If someone intentionally is leaving you out, who cares? You don’t want to be around that person anyway! The point is, there is always a reason why an invitation was extended to you or not, and a Southern woman always respects the decision of the host and does not make them feel guilty or embarrassed about their choice.
8. You Dress Appropriately: There’s a time for that bodycon dress and it ain’t at your niece’s Christening. It’s important to be modest when you should and save your fun, going-out outfits (that you have every right to wear) for nights out with your friends. You also cover your chest at church, you wear a modest black dress to a funeral, and you don’t wear anything too gaudy or show-stopping to a wedding. For more specific style rules for wedding attire, you can check my Southern Lady’s Wedding Attire Guide post.
9. You Always Respect and Love Your Family: They’re your rock, and they are the most important people in your life. You respect your parents’ wishes, you try not to disappoint them, and your brothers and sisters will always come before any friends or relationships.
10. You Use Sweet Southern Terms of Endearment: Sugar, honey, darlin’, baby, sweetheart. My favorite is sugar. Even better, someone asking you to “give them some sugar”. My dad has been calling my mom darlin’ as long as I can remember, and it’s just the cutest thing ever.